In  general, I think people instinctively get the idea of working with others for mutual benefit.

I had a conversation with someone who — off the bat — just wanted information, details, insights, a battery of questions of what he wanted…all without offering something in return.  This is a total stranger who approached me.  We’re still meeting, but how would you go into this discussion?

Warning signs: if that’s your approach to partnership — gimme, gimme, take, take — it gets flagged early.

Come bearing "gifts."  Put something out as a strawman: "Not sure if this works but here’s what I can provide you."

When I partner, I hunt and search to find someway that I can provide value, typically a contact name at minimum to help.  If I don’t — I try to find some common ground, or a promise to find them a lead — early in the conversation.  It’ hard — sometimes it’s not that clear and you have to rely on an existing relationship.  There are plenty of times I’ve asked someone I’ve met or know for just plain out help and the promise that someday something will circle back.

But you can smell it when someone’s approach is to take, and it colors future discussions as it has with this fellow.  The meeting will still happen, but now everything moving forward has that smell.

Come bearing "gifts" and a creativity to at least seeking to find something that will benefit them.  Strong partnerships can get built from that foundation, and I’ve seen some remarkable people do so and I continue to try to learn from them.

Think "give" before you "get."   

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